"What At All Do These Feminist Want?"

As a child the only difference I knew that existed between boys and girls was that boys wore shorts, girls wore skirts. Girls wore earrings, boys did not. End of story. I never assumed the brains of boys were different from girls as for example, we competitively aimed at achieving academic excellence in class. If any difference at all was noticed, puberty revealed that girls became curvier on the hips with bigger breasts while boys had flatter chests with straighter waists. Even when some games were assumed to be gender specific there was no discrimination on the play ground as we all played pilolo, police & thief, football,  the cook/house game, chaskele, alikoto among others. 

As we grow however, there appears to be segregation regarding how a boy or girl should act. I recall a male student once told me in senior high school that for a girl, I had too much of an opinion. He didn’t mean it as a compliment. I was visibly surprised. I didn’t think having an opinion on something was the preserve for boys. The first time I was called a feminist was in the university and that was actually my first time of hearing the word. I vaguely recall the issue that led to being called one was about a man beating up his girlfriend over a misunderstanding. I didn’t know who a feminist was yet I didn’t think I needed to be one to express my disgust on the abuse.

Apparently identifying with gender issues and advocating for women empowerment meant one hated men, was bitter, or something of the sort which really is absurd.  I do know however that any woman who is currently enjoying the right to drive, the right to vote, the right to access education, has a say in her reproductive health, is not stoned to death for choosing a sexual partner should give a thought on who a feminist is if they haven’t already. Before writing this I decided to sample the views of women on our empowerment and the advocacy for equity between both genders; below was their responses:

“I simply believe in equality. I'm partial to women not because I'm one but because I love a multidimensional thinker. It's just the way we are built. A woman's thought process when making even the simplest of decisions is a beautiful thing. Why shouldn't such a mind be empowered?” ~ Loretta

“An empowered person is one entrusted with the opportunity and ability to shape a much better world. Women make up approximately half of the world's population therefore it's only prudent that we are empowered too. When a woman is empowered she is in a much better position to make political, social, economic and reproductive decisions for the benefit of herself and the community at large. The ratio of women to men is approximately equal; therefore to systematically decide not to empower one gender means the world loses out by having approximately fifty percent of its population being silent, ignorant and clueless about matters concerning them. Finally empowered men are like mirrors to little boys. Boys look up to them to visualize what empowerment looks like .Little girls deserve the same - an empowered woman to look up to.” ~ Ann

“I believe women should be empowered because that is the key to creating better societies and building better and stronger nations. Children spend a great deal of time with female care givers (be it biological mothers, relatives or foster parents). The impact of women in the formation of children cannot be over emphasized. Thus if we believe children are the future of our societies, then women empowerment becomes an imperative” ~ Agnes

“In this day and age, women need not only to find their voices but be able to use them. I imagine a world where every woman and girl can go to school, live free from violence, is free to make decisions and choices of her own and not be judged unfairly just because she is a woman. A woman should also be able to receive equal pay for same work done and be given same opportunities given to her male counterpart if she qualifies.

I stand for the empowerment of women and girls because I believe that downplaying the role of an empowered woman in contributing to the socio-economic development of her community are akin to failing to make use of the full potential of humankind in making the world a better place.” ~ Fanny

“Why do I call myself a feminist? First of all, I am woman and I enjoy being a woman. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Secondly, I love being respected and loved. I don’t think it is fair to disrespect a person based on gender. Why should that be? Gender as a basis for respect and equal treatment is not acceptable in any form. I believe every woman deserves to be treated fairly and I stand strongly and firmly against all forms of abuse.

Feminism came naturally to me when I heard these words: “Women are our own enemies” How do I become the exception I wondered? By sticking to my fellow women to fight against all forms of disrespect and injustice. I would rather stand with my fellow women to deal with our social problems than to sit in my comfort zone and raise my hands to God and say “Lord I thank you I do not have to go through what my fellow woman is going through”.

I am sticking to my fellow women and that is what I mean when I call myself a feminist. Men and women are not the same, I respect our differences but there is no way I will condone any man or woman who wants to make another woman feel worthless just because she was born a woman.

Allow a woman to be happy, just as she wants to be. There is absolutely nothing you can do about a woman who appreciates herself and loves being who she is. She is a woman, you cannot change that.” ~ Esenam

Until about 120 years ago women were not allowed to perform the simple task of driving where countries like Saudi Arabia still deny their women this right. Our country just like in many parts of the world is one kind of a paradox when it comes to issues regarding gender. In one breath men can profess their admiration for vocal, intelligent and self sufficient women. Then in another breath become jittery to state that a woman who speaks her mind, expresses her thoughts and position on an issue is overbearing.  That an empowered wife should suddenly become mute in the presence of her husband else challenging him on anything leaves him emasculated.

So I wonder, what is the issue? Do men bleed red and women bleed green? Do men have grey matter in their heads while that of women are yellow? What justifies the notion that one gender cannot be equal to the other? Of course, in terms of our physical and biological make up a man cannot get pregnant neither can a woman produce sperms which is undisputable – unless scientists decide to manipulate our bodies to prove otherwise. Aside that what justifies the situation where a woman occupying the same job position with her male counterpart, a position which has the same job description ends up with her male counterpart being paid higher than the woman albeit the fact that they both churn the same results?

And is it not quite ironic that the same people who ask “what at all do these feminists want” look forward to having daughters (if they don’t already) who should be intelligent, assertive and confident in life? Where exactly do you intend your daughters to live if you are already questioning her right to occupy a world of equity even before she reaches her own age of self discovery, self enlightenment and self understanding?

So for those who are always quick to ask “what at all do these feminist want?” here is my answer: I want to raise my daughter in a world where to rape a woman is not fair game. I want to raise my daughter in a world where accessing education is a norm and not a privilege. I want to raise my daughter in a world where she can express herself intelligently, confidently and sexually without any prejudice. And yes, sexually because in certain countries a woman accused of adultery is stoned to death while the man she commits the so called crime with is usually left alone without a scratch. Tell me, does that even make sense? It takes two to tango therefore what is good for the goose should also be good for the gander.

Finally, feminism is not about attacking the opposite sex. Feminism is not about belittling the capabilities of men. Men do have their own capabilities in contributing to a meaningful society which is much appreciated. But while we respect the contributions of men for a progressive society we also need to advocate against women being put down, being made to keep mute in their marital homes, paid less than their male counterparts for the same job done. Feminism is just about stating the obvious which mankind has chosen to complicate for ages: men and women are equal. Given equal opportunity men and women can function on the basis of equity to shape a much better world. Thankfully Ghana has made some significant progress in gender equity but we still have a lot of work to do.

So the next time you ask “what at all do these feminists want?”. . .