CHANGING LIFESTYLE OR IDENTITY CRISIS?

In recent times the African woman has been very versatile in what she can do to her hair, we braid, perm/texturize it, fix hair extensions etc all in a bid to look more beautiful or better still presentable. Whilst there is nothing inherently wrong with this there comes a time or moment where you wonder if we have not gone overboard…

Case in point is sending our little girls to the salon to have their hair fixed. On my trip to the salon today I met two adorable girls and their mother. The oldest girl would be about 7years and the youngest not more than 3years; they had come to get their hair braided. I watched as this two girls cried especially the youngest whilst her hair was being braided and all their mother could say was “stop crying don’t you see I am trying to make you look pretty”. Saying I was shocked at what I heard would have been an understatement. Seriously?? Really?? Making them go through this ‘torture’ just to make them beautiful??  The only thing I picked from this statement was that this woman didn’t consider her girls pretty enough until they had their hair braided (or permed).  Talk about psychologically harming your children subtly!

The scenario above is not isolated. I have seen children less than 10years having hair extensions fixed… and no they were not flower girls or in a school play or something else fancy of the sort, their mothers just decided extensions would look cute on them. Personally what gets my goat is seeing a child of less than 10years getting a perm. Honestly, seriously a perm??!!! Couldn’t simple parting the hair into smaller sections adorned with ribbons (now the ribbons, that’s another story for another day) do the trick?

I stopped using adult relaxers close to 3years now… these days I just use the hair relaxer for kids and it still works perfectly. So assuming this kids relaxer which is supposedly for a kid’s hair and not an adult’s hair works perfectly on my over 20 something years old hair, then really how ‘gentle’ and ‘safe’ are those relaxers for our children? (no I am not being an alarmist, just thinking out loud).

I am not yet a mother, more especially a mother of a girl child, however I do understand the desire of mother’s to make their children especially girls look adorable and all but please you have got to draw the line somewhere. Your little girl is not your play doll for you to experiment different hair styles on!

So after close to almost 3 hours the braiding was done and I could see ‘super mom’ admiring the hair of her girls telling them how pretty they looked. The oldest just looked sullen and the little one… well she was still cranky and crying and to placate the crying little girl she pulls out canned malt drink, opens it and gives it to the little girl. At this point I realize this woman is a lost cause.  Children have the tendency of either sticking their tongue into the little opening or even their finger and the outcome of that little adventure turns out to be bloody, that is if one is unlucky. Of course being Yvonne I just couldn’t keep mute anymore, I called the woman aside and told her the possible danger of giving a child any drink in a can and politely suggested she could pour the drink into a plastic bottle and give it to the child. Her response to me… let’s just say minding my own business was a much better option.

As India Arie would say “I am not my hair”; indeed our little girls are not their hair…… they are way more than that.

PS: my New Year resolution was to talk less and mind my own business more…… and my big mouth just failed me. Please say a prayer for me.